Country Living

Although it’s lovely coming back home and seeing the family there is always the small issue of the countryside. I love the countryside… don’t get me wrong: hills, grass, trees, animals, mud …….DUNG…..


Lovingly tending his poop crop.


That’s the main one. The main feature of those rolling hills that surround our house. Poo is everywhere especially when home comes with two, rather over friendly (otherwise known as rude), collie dogs, each with a penchant for poop. They find it anywhere and they don’t really care what origin it is.  After a feast they will wait till you least expect it then sneak up to you…. Snuggle in….and BAM!! They stick their big sloopy tongue right in your mouth.


Maybe if I feel them flowers they won’t smell so bad…?

Unfortunately, I chose to visit during lambing time which is down in the doggy calendar for its seasonal, always grizzly, delicacies … suffice to say I’m only going to wear a turtle neck pulled up to my ears for the rest of my visit.

All I can say is at least they eat local.



A Scottish Girls guide to your last day in Paradise.

There are not many thing I do well but making friends with incredible people definitely is one of my strengths. It was a rather spiffing group of people who made my last day in Mauritius so special. So, I thought this guide would offer some ideas for anyone wondering how to make the most of their last day on the Island of Paradise.

1 – Meet some awesome people.

My day would not have been the same if it wasn’t for those I spent it with. People who managed to put up with my shoddy planning and lack of communication and still turn up where they were meant to be and with a whopping amount of food.


2- Start the day with a Dive.

Make the most of your last day by doing something you love. I used the first hours of my morning on a dive in the beautiful seas of Flic en Flac, surrounded by friends and fish a like.

3 – Cram

Being in the awkward position of appearing as a calm collected person on the outside but really being a totally dozy bastard on the inside means that nothing adds to a relaxing day more than a frantic dash to the shops to try and collect last minute gifts for those people you forgot only to be distracted by earrings and shiny things and once again forgetting those gifts –  to my brothers I am sorry….

4 – Eat

Make the most of any food you can. I managed to plan my departure to coincide with a birthday party at the dive centre so scored myself some delicious birthday cheese cake and brownies.

5 – R & R

Here is where choosing your friends wisely comes in. Take your bestest and whisk her away to a day spa nestled in the mountains of Tamarin. Even when you live with someone it is possible to not see them enough so savour that moment with your significantly platonic other as you like naked next to each other while being massaged by angels. (TIP: try and avoid eye contact with each other)


6 – Who needs planning?

Hitch hike back home after your massage because you forgot to book a taxi and your friends are waiting on the beach for you.


7 – BBQ on the beach

If you have read this blog before you will be aware of my obsession with a good beach BBQ. Collect the nearest and dearest, as much food and drink as possible, arrive and hour late and covered in oil to spend happy hours in the sand.

*It may have been an idea to wash off the massage oil as sand and coconut yulang yalang with a hint of sausage are a strange mix.

8 – Chill.

Head to the Kenzie bar where every Friday night is Reggae night. Dance like a loon, sing like a tit and laugh like a prat. Hug your best friends and pretend not to cry. Then walk home solo and sweaty after a final round of goodbyes. Remember to gaze at the stars as you go.

9 –  Panic Pack

Realise you have not  carried out your routine ‘safety pack’, empty your bag only to realise that now you cannot get everything in again. Queue mental break down followed by realisation you have packed your passport somewhere…. You cant remember where…

10 – Be responsible

Unlike so many of those who have left before me I decided to be a grown up and not say out all night but instead retire gracefully to my home to chill out (do not refer to number 9.) What I needed was a nice sleep and then I would be all ready, I would wake up at 3.15 have a delightful shower and rinse off the oil from my time at the spa…. Instead I sit on the plane now with my hair plastered to my head with oil and a super shiny face…. If you want to make your day of relaxation really last I suggest waking up 8 minutes before your taxi arrives with a half packed bag, oily hair and absolutely no clue where your passport is.

To all those heading towards their last day on the island I hope this has helped… whether you choose to follow this advice or perhaps opt for the more serine/organised approach I wish you a very happy last day and a safe onward journey.

Got the London Look

Five sunsets, four different countries, a million hours spent on Flexibus and a sudden 5 am panic about where the fuck I put my oyster card later and I find myself back in London. With multiple bags of crap and a mind so fuzzy I couldn’t remember my way home, I stumbled off the bus after a twelve hour journey from Holland to be greeted by a beautiful London in the midst of Easter celebrations.


Watching my talented baby brother proved the perfect cure for adventure blues.

After a night out in Kilburn the traveller’s fug has shifted, with the help of tequila and live music, from weepy exhaustion to a twitchy itchy feet syndrome- an old friend of all who return home after an expedition. Sitting in bed, surrounded by all the treasures I’ve found, I eat my 50p loaf of bread whilst staring lazily at my back pack and wonder whether to unpack or would it be less effort to just keep travelling.


Where does it all go?!?!

Do I really need to stop already?


End of Chapter

So, the time has come to leave the island I have lived on for three months. I dealt with this in a true British fashion – the way we deal with death, disaster or the fear of tea served the “American” way – by getting on with the task in hand. There was no time for crying or soppy goodbyes, not to say I didn’t make the most of my last days, but the art of denial comes naturally especially why you completely ignore what is coming. It wasn’t until I sat in my seat, 22A and had time to look around that I realised that it was over. This chapter of the story has finished, suddenly the tears came and the sadness I had tried so hard to keep at bay hit me full force in the chest like a falling coconut thrown by a cyclone. Boom! On to the next adventure. Let’s not say goodbye Mauritius but rather TTFN, you truly are a paradise island. Thanks for it all!